I am NOT GIVING UP!

Right now, I am sitting in my room...my daughter is sleeping in my bed cozy and warm, my other daughter is in the yard playing Cinderella with the kitties, and Casting Crowns is playing on my stereo. I have been cleaning all morning (I even "sorted" the laundry..Alana :) and I have been listening to this new CD by CC, and I have found much encouragement from it! There are several songs that really speak to my heart...and right now my old casting crowns cd is playing the song "Love them like Jesus", and I find it difficult to even type becuase this song has really "hit" me hard. The first time I heard it was on a treadmill at the YMCA a month after I had my last miscarriage. UGH, Lord what are you doing to me! I know that I made a fool of myself because all of a sudden I was sobbing uncontrolably, and everytime I hear this song, I have the same reaction! I feel like I am on some strange journey. The kind where you know that in the end you will be so blessed, but in the meantime you have to walk around these "pits", up the mountains, through the muck and stormy vallies. (some would call this the journey of life) However this feels different. I have recently been searching out the Lord, and seeking to hear his voice more than ever before....I am desperate to be close to Him, in an actual intimate relationship with him! In doing so , I feel as though I have strapped a target on my back for the enemy to see me wherever I am, almost like a neon sign flashing "here I am come and get me". I have been sick for a few weeks now, and it just seems like every time I turn around it's something! Lord, you ARE faithful, merciful, and just! Thank you for your lovingkindness! You never fail me, you always amaze me! I love you Lord, and I pray that I will walk in a manner worthy of you, to please you in all respects, that I will increase in the knowledge of you God! I am not very good at organizing my thoughts when I am emotional..forgive me! Things are going well inspite of this thing on my back. God is good all the time, and he has promised to give his angels charge over me, to bear me up in their wings! I stand on that promise, and I know that all things will work together for good. Maybe having this "down time" is what I needed to allow me to draw close to God and press in ! So what the devil has set out to destroy God has turned it into blessings! I do appreciate your prayers, and I make it my practice that anytime I look at your blog or comments to say a prayer for you! God Bless and Keep You! May you be encouraged this day to look to Him to sustain you in the times where you feel empty, and fill yourself up with His love! Sharon

Communicator

Strange title perhaps, let me explain. Last night my husband brought home a personality profile that he did at church (I had to work) and so he walked me thru it and the results were right on! He said that he and Alana had predicted as much, haha.. It also told of people in the Bible with these same personality traits and the first one listed is Aaron..rhymes with Sharon, so it must be a fit! Last night at work was especially difficult, for one thing I have been sick since last Friday, and didn't really want to be there in the first place so when my boss completely embarrassed me in front of a whole line of people I had a real PROBLEM with that! Even the customers were in shock and wanted to complain for me on my behalf! His claim was completely unfounded and rediculious and he belittled me and made me feel about 2 inches tall. I didn't say anything at the time and waited till the end of the night to talk with him (I really needed to cool off and get my thoughts together and PRAY before I talked with him!) I came to this conclusion. This man has never been shown respect in his position, (he certainly doesn't demand it, nor does he give any in return) and isn't quite sure how to take it when he is shown that respect. Like the personality test said..I am a talkative person and I love working with people, and solving conflicts...when it comes to my own, sometimes I am a bit more like the cowardly Lion. However God gave me the words to say and my boss did apologize. O well, I guess I am still a little more upset about the whole thing than I thought. Lord, please forgive my bitterness and give me love for all those that you love! As always I could use a little help, and appreciate all of your prayers. Sharon the Communicator :)

Will you pray with me?

I am back again with more random thoughts on my mind. Last night I got a call from my sister who lives in Michagan, and it has been a long time since we last talked. We share the same father and never even met until I was 14. I was so happy to hear from her, and a little sad at the same time. Why do we let so much time go between us without keeping up with the ones that we love. So much has happened in both of our lives since we last saw each other, a lot of pain and suffering and some wonderfully joyous things too. We could have shared those things together and been there for the other while hurting and rejoicing...well i think you get the point. I am looking forward to reconnecting with her, and at the same time I am looking for new friends to connect with as well. I am currentyly rereading the book..Power of a praying wife" and the author strongly suggests that we partner with some other women of stong faith to be our prayer partners, as not to overwhelm our husbands and becuase it is just a great idea. I have never done this and been committed to it for very long, well i am ready to committ and make some changes in my life and I was wondering if you would consider partnering with me in prayer. I am a firm believer that prayer can change everything! I guess I am really asking you, Alana, since you are the only one out there who ever reads my silly little ramblings. Please let me know what you think.